TOYAH'S BLOG 2020

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JANUARY 2020

HELLO THERE! HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL

After two wonderful weeks without internet nor mobile phone, in my pyjamas, no make up, reading many wonderful scripts and books, finalising details and artwork on TOYAH SOLO with DEMON MUSIC (my only dabbling in the office) and prepping for 2020 I have hit the ground running renewed and ready to Rock. 

In the next three months there are two movies, with substantial roles and a TV pilot to shoot before Electric Ladies takes to the road in April . . . Oh and a LOT of TOYAH shows between now and then which we are all looking forward to. 

I need to give you a heads up, TOYAH AND HAZEL . . . or HAZEL AND TOYAH : ELECTRIC LADIES TOUR is SELLING OUT FAST! Please get your tickets to avoid being disappointed. So 10 years have past. It feels like three years, it’s passed so quickly and what a fantastic 10 years it has been. The past decade was rounded off beautifully by performing at Wembley Arena. What a gorgeous venue. All venues are fab but this one is special beyond special. We were treated with such respect and made so welcome.

The staff were incredible, helpful, friendly, fun it was an outstanding experience. My guests where the cast from the film GIVE THEM WINGS. Claire Grogan and I have been sharing dressing rooms on the Let’s Rock tour and Claire has been following me on stage and as I came off she said “ I can hear your friends shouting your name above the roar of the crowd!” Actors have big voices. At last everything is heading in the right direction. 

It’s taken time but I have managed to steer clear of things I just don’t want to be sucked into. At the end of 2012 I vowed never to work with people who belittled the industry and were only interested in self-gratification. For 8 years, luckily I’ve managed to stay clear, working only with true artists, the kind who graft, who remain focused no matter what, who love the industry as much as I do and who keep the industry alive. It’s been the best decade so far. HERE’S TO 2020!

Rather than having New Year’s Resolutions I am working on something different. A trusted advisor last year said something to me as an aside and it has stayed with me all year because I have been trying to figure out what he meant. He said JUST WORK ON UPPING YOUR VIBRATION. It hit me like a Koan (a paradoxical riddle, used in Zen Buddhism to demonstrate the inadequacy of logical reasoning and to provoke enlightenment.) I just didn’t understand why he would say this to me as I consider myself a peaceful/conscious person.

I am tenacious and I refused to let this go, not allowing it to be unsolvable and now I feel I have found how to live it. Rather than New Year’s Resolutions I am using awareness instead. One thing that suffers in the modern world is JOY. It seems to have taken a back seat, understandably with the news as it is, but is it possible to live/experience/extend JOY into a world whist showing support for its grief? I think yes. JOY isn’t blindsiding others suffering. I rather hope it strengthens those who need hope. Two nights ago Robert and I experienced something in the house that we didn’t tell each other about until a coincidence the following morning. 

As many know our house is crazy haunted, the whole town is, people even see ghosts in the street! So I was on the sofa with Robert watching a film, I think Will Farrell in Old School when the back of my hair started to lift upwards . . .whole strands of hair standing upright. My first instinct was SPIDER and I brushed my hair down repeatedly. The next morning, as is customary in our house, I creeped into Robert’s study and hid under his desk to scare the shit out of him on his return from making coffee and as he walked around I tugged the bottom of his jacket . . . no response, I did it again, still no response from him. Eventually I burst out laughing and he said “Oh, it’s you. 

This has been going on since last night, my hair is being tugged, my jacket being pulled, it hasn’t stopped for hours, I thought it was a ghost”. Usually when this occurs its an anniversary, or a death. Well it wasn’t Bowie’s death day, it wasn’t anyone’s death day that we knew of then the news appeared Derek Acorah had passed. I’ve worked with Derek and I am pretty sure he has been to the house. There is a window in time when you pass that these events are possible, we wished him a safe journey and now the house is quiet again.

So I am now off to finish filming GIVE THEM WINGS in Darlington. I’ve spent far too much time in the car in the past 12 months, hitting so many potholes I have had to keep an eye on my back health. Just after playing Wembley Arena in December Robert and I spent a small fortune on a meal with friends, we had to pay in advance, on the way there we hit a pothole and burst a tyre . . . my fourth this year. 

We missed the evening entirely, instead we sat in the darkened car for 4 hours working out the pot hole had cost us over £500. The cold made my 73 yr old husband ill and I explained how many times it had happened to me in the past year, for the first time Robert realised what it’s like for most travellers and for me, he understood how wrong it is when I have had to sleep in the car due to bad scheduling.

Eventually a very young man from the RAC came and assisted us, he was fabulous, singing 80s songs all the while he worked, we adored him, gave him all our cash to say thank you to which he almost burst into tears and we thanked God we met such a hope for the future . . . I wouldn’t have changed the experience for the world.

MAY 2020 BE KIND TO YOU ALL . . . LET’S TRAVEL INTO THE FUTURE.

LOVE TOYAH XXXXX


FEBRUARY 2020

HELLO THERE!

IT’S ALL HAPPENING HERE!

I knew from Boxing Day 2019 onwards that 2020 was going to be one hell of a great year. 2020 was pulling me like a magnet towards its positive “glow” as soon as Christmas Day Lunch was consumed.

It is a rare experience but one I am enjoying immensely. The only way I can explain this feeling is that the stars are aligned. There is so much happening this year and it is all going to be announced in stages.

TOYAH SOLO box set was announced in January and yesterday five TOYAH COLOUR VINYL were announced for pre-order with the re-release of MINX, PROSTITUTE, OPHELIA’S SHADOW, TAKE THE LEAP! and VELVET LINED SHELL. The response to Ophelia’s Shadow coming out has been huge. There are many people out there who love this album. It is different and it’s a goodie.

ELECTRIC LADIES: HAZEL AND TOYAH . . . or TOYAH AND HAZEL . . . perhaps I should simply say the HAZAH n’ TOYZEL TOUR, is hotting up. It looks like being a sell out which is very exciting. I can’t wait, April is too far away and I want to start the show now!

Because I am on the road with the Toyah Band all Feb its allowing us to run ideas and shape up what we will be doing in April and May. Ideas such as adding new instruments and textures, which will work beautifully in the larger spaces we are playing. As a band we like to change what we do nightly so we are gearing up to be very fluid on stage and cross over to other instruments effortlessly.

For once I will have a driver on this tour. I am so over the stress and effort it takes just to get on the M6 and move forward…..I AM OVER IT. For this tour someone else will take that responsibility . . . I am sooooooo grateful. This is a lesson I learnt last autumn when I was shooting a movie in Darlington and rushing like hell to get to concerts down south . . . No . . . those days are over. This year I am an artist and only an artist.

Frippy and I were due to fly to Seattle and see Bill in a few weeks but I am concerned about the Corona Virus. Neither Frippy nor Bill would survive anything like that, so I have said to Bill once we know how this virus is behaving we can plan to see him. It’s a tough one, we want to be with our soul buddy but now more than ever we have to be responsible. It’s been a conscious few months of lifestyle changes here at Fripp/Cox mansions. I am fully vegetarian again . . . I say again because last year when I was on the road up to 8 hours most days I was eating anything I could grab quickly at a petrol station and that included meat.

All through the 80s /90s/00s I was veggie but recently I have slipped badly. Having watched Channel 4’s programme Meat The Family I realised if I cannot raise and kill an animal myself, I must never eat it. It is shocking and also unsurprising how life can misguide you from your belief system by sheer pressure of work and lack of time.

When I was making TO BE SOMEONE in Sept/Oct 2019 we all pre-ordered our food with the caterer on set and if filming ran late we found that the meat eaters had eaten all the vegetarian dishes and left the meat dishes for the vegetarians which kind of tells me that an awful lot of the team would have prefer to be veggie but didn’t know how to make the change. Luckily there was an M&S food a mile away up the A1, all the girls jumped into my car and we stocked up on Veg Sushi.

Because the world needs our help more than ever to leave less of a footprint I have also decided to sell my home in Menton, France and be UK based for everything. No hardship here, I am ready to be in one place, I just think regular flying isn’t helpful to a struggling ecosystem. I feel 2020 is a new era for me. In the last four weeks my archive has been re-arranged and stored, all labelled and in some semblance of order. 2020 feels like no other year. Perhaps a little like 1981 . . . which felt like a rollercoaster ride of joy.

In March I start intense physio training to build body mass, by this I mean I am going to build muscle! The reason and cause for this decision is I really want my 60s to be the 30s I never had. Fun/ creativity/ ground breaking attitude to ageing and tip top health. I want to keep dancing for as long as I can, on stage and off.

Simon Darlow and I are currently playing phone hopscotch trying to book in studio time to write a new album for 2021, the good news is there’s plenty of inspiration out there and so much to say. Cherry Red are gearing up plans re-release the Safari Toyah albums and are being super helpful re-addressing a draconian contract written up in 1978, which did the artists no favours.

Thank you to everyone who has been at the gigs so far this year. The 02 Islington was an all time fave . . . what a special brilliant night!

2020 BRING IT ON!

BE PROUD, BE LOUD, BE HEARD

LOVE TOYAH XXXXXXXXXX


MARCH 2020

HELLO THERE!

SPRING IS ALMOST HERE!

Which hopefully means all those nasty winter bugs will DIE! This is me trying to put a positive slant on things. February was just weird.

Absolutely stunning shows: Halifax, Holborn, Bacup, Selby, Stamford, Norwich and Scarborough, all fantastic. Beautiful teams of people making the shows happen. We, the band, love meeting new crews. They work bloody hard and are all so different. From one man setting up Selby all on his own to the gorgeous boys at Norwich running the tech effortlessly, to magnificent Penny running Scarborough Market Hall like a true Boudicca warrior queen. Last month the stage was my sanctuary like no other time and the audience my guardian angels.

Working with Jools Holland on his soon to be broadcast new Radio 2 show was a joy. Never having the chance to spend catch up time with Jools in the past he had done his research, he knew where I lived right down to the colour of my front door, he had holidayed on a boat many times, going past the bottom of my garden everyday for two weeks and has recently become acquainted with my friends and neighbours here in the flooded heartlands of Worcestershire. I am enticing him to come and stay.

I don’t get out much, apart from the many concerts but I also met up with Nick Mason of Pink Floyd and his wife Netty and again have encouraged them to come up north of the south and hang out. And the gorgeous actress, writer Taj Atwal is encouraging me to use WhatsApp more, linking me to actors we have both worked with. Taj is a lovely human being who may be somewhat bemused at my rather hermit like existence. Andy Doble, master of the keyboard is madly into Ancestry.com and has discovered he is my seventh cousin . . . yep! all his ancestors are Willcox’s.

DEMON MUSIC released TOYAH SOLO, THE BOX SET and I seem to be doing well for them. 5 vinyl releases come out on Friday 13 March which is joyous. And you never know what else . . . There has been a very positive meeting with Cherry Red Records, who now own my first 7 albums. Cherry Red want these albums out in the wider world and fully exploited which will be the first time over quite a few decades. There’s a very strong rumour the film TO BE SOMEONE will be out at the end of April and apparently it’s really good. 

But February was more than “tinged with sadness”. Dear Wonderful Colin Hinds flew away on the 18th Feb after a very long illness. Colin had exceptional talent. His guitar playing, his voice were like no other. He was a fantastic songwriter and a brilliant show man. Not once did I witness Colin be negative or say anything bad about another person, he was a quiet soul who came into his own with a guitar and microphone, then his musical language flew beyond any form of expression I knew, a true creative. Audiences where enthralled by him, he added nectar to my strident power. 

I truly believe he taught me how to find my voice in the past 6 years. The acoustic shows have taught me so much, but Colin’s natural instinctive ability was like a light illuminating the way. He was a natural who would ascend out of his quiet stillness and rocked us out. GOD BLESS YOU COLIN. Before the news of Colin passing I was already trying to deal with the news of Caroline Flack taking her own life. Shouting at the TV became a norm after this. Cruelty took Caroline’s life.

I can’t say I “knew” her. I spent a week working with her in 2010 on COMIC RELIEF DANCE OFF. Back then Caroline was clearly ascending to the heights she reached at the end of life. She was a fabulous dancer, beautiful women, incredibly clever and wonderfully honest. She didn’t agree with the judges comments on this show and was vocal about it. No way did this shining light deserve the last months of her life to be so brutal that her only option was to take her own life.

If hate is so easily delivered to anyone via anonymous apps I believe agents and producers need to create a barrier, hire social media PAs, put a person in between the talent and the haters, so a valuable potentially life saving perspective can be built. It seems the shorter the message the more harm it does because of ambiguity of meaning. I believe above all 99.99999999999999999% of people want friendship, support, life affirming experiences and love. 

My work takes me into real flesh and blood communities. I meet my audience in intimate settings, art centres, rock clubs, village halls. These people are not haters, they are fantastic real people, we interact in a socially acceptable way. To all vulnerable, lonely, heart broken people, young and old who seek solace in social media I say firstly seek the brilliance of yourself.

Not in yourself . . . OF YOURSELF. WE ARE ALL MIRACULOUS, THE FACT WE ARE FLOATING ON A BALL OF ROCK IN A VAST UNMAPPABLE UNIVERSE SHOWS OUR OWN PRESENCE IS A MIRACLE

Noone on the end of a keyboard can tell you anything other wise that is anywhere near the truth of what and who you are. You are miraculous. Live the miracle, trust yourself, no one else knows your truth. Rage and unjust behaviour will sadly always be around. But perspective is vital. Talking of “weird February”, a visit to a Well Women Clinic revealed I have gained 2 kilos since becoming a full vegetarian! Yikes . . . that’s coming off immediately! Potatoes have been banished from the house. The TOYAH AND HAZEL ELECTRIC LADIES cannot come quickly enough. I am now desperate to get on the road. I must not wish my life away but I can’t BLOODY WAIT!

Lastly for some reason I keep dreaming about Martin Kemp and his son Roman. It is the same dream every time. We are in a large American car driving down Oxford Street in London, happy and laughing, when we drive past Bond Street tube we all look at the building where the Kabbalah Centre is. 

That’s it, that’s the dream . . . I feel as if I know them both. 

It goes without saying BE PROUD, BE LOUD, BE HEARD . . . but also . . . BE SAFE, TAKE CARE AND SEE YOU OUT THERE

LOVE TOYAH XXXXXXXXXXXXX


APRIL 2020

HELLO THERE

I HOPE YOU, YOUR FAMILIES AND LOVED ONES ARE ALL SAFE, WELL AND PROTECTED.

I started last month’s blog with “ This month has been weird.”

Well March surpassed that statement on all counts. The loss of the dearest of friends and postponement of all work were not seen on the horizon and has come as a bitter blow. Also I have to face the fact that I am going to have to cut my husband’s hair at some point, something that fills me with trepidation and I have to accept I will look like a sheep dog in a couple of weeks unless hubby can miraculously learn to cut my hair in this unique time, this is a great time to learn new skills! 

I accept I am happy to cut his toenails because they grow like talons and that isn’t natural! Also it’s a chance to use up those annoying hotel soaps, shampoos and shower caps, the ones that fill every available draw in the home. An experience I am enjoying is wearing clothes I’d be too self-conscious to wear in public. Strange colour schemes, old favourites, odd combinations, glamming up and dancing round the house totally uninhibited like a banshee. I just have to make sure I don’t knock any teeth out. The dentist is out of the question. The landscape of our lives will be changing forever and what I mean by that is once we have conquered the virus we possibly could all be completely different people.

My parents never recovered from the experience of the 2nd World War and as a child I didn’t fully appreciate what it was like for them to have no control over events, now I am starting to appreciate what they went through. Last year I was so overworked I was fantasizing about taking a year off. NEVER would I want time off like this again and not for this reason, the virus. Work wins over this enforced domestic lock down.

After a very difficult first week, in a really dark place, going through grief for my work, especially the Toyah/Hazel Electric Ladies Tour having to postpone and feeling utterly trapped with the domesticity of it all, I realised this needed to be turned into a chance to look inwards and address everything I actively dislike about myself. The first of my personal hates is having grand ideas and not seeing them through to fruition. I want to use this time to breath life into everything I promised myself I would achieve. 

I am determined to come out of this having mastered the keyboard to a point I feel like a player, master creative writing to a far deeper degree and master my mind when it goes into automatic thought patterns to do with lack of confidence. Naturally we all externalise, looking to the outside world for reaffirming responses when some times the enemy of the peace is within. As I am getting many, many e-mails asking for help, either in the form of video messages or advice, I thought the most creative thing I could do is a TOP TEN OF LOCKDOWN TIPS.

TOYAH’S TOP TEN TIPS FOR LOCKDOWN

1. Silent space: I am not used to seeing one person all day, every day and it’s rattling my cage sometimes. My suggestion if this is the same for you is find that silent space and that silent time. You have a right to ask for this wherever and whatever your situation.

Once in this space focus inwards. Examine how you feel, what and why something is making you anxious or angry and except it, seeing it often helps put perspective on a situation. Then allow your thoughts to create your perfect place, be it an island/ a beach/ a mansion and build on this internal visualisation. 

If any negativity creeps in banish it and keep banishing it, because it is only past negative programming tripping you up, this is your safe place. Every time you revisit this image take it further, making sure you allow yourself happiness and calm in this space.

2. Cook and clean together. I am adamant we will have one large meal a day made from totally fresh ingredients, this is our lunchtime, so we can work it off. In the beginning I had the greater knowledge of cooking and cleaning and this on top of running a company really stressed me because I had to be two different people. 

Once I gave hubby the opportunity to learn off me he flew with it. I taught him the basic principles of food preparation and the basic ingredients of flavouring ie: onion/ carrot and celery. He is now cooking, vacuuming and even cleaning the toilet…. God bless him. So share the good times and also share the chores if you are able.

3. Posture: it’s easy when not moving freely to forget about posture. Check your posture in the mirror and straighten your back, pull your shoulders back and use this as a stretch. Hold your head high. You deserve to look proud around the house because you are getting through this.

4. Sweets: If you want to avoid putting weight on. Absolutely no chocolate, sweets, cake in the house. So many friends are texting about the amount of chocolate they are eating. STOP!

This is a chance to lose those treat induced inches because technically we cannot pop to the shops, just avoid stocking up on these addictive and yummy items. I have a sweet tooth, so jelly cubes make a good alternative to large portions of cake. Even chewing gum staves off the sugar cravings. That said I am still reaching for the honey.

5. Learn: This is the greatest opportunity to learn we may ever get. My working life has kept me from my passions. I have chosen to improve my piano playing and music theory as well as understanding colour spectrums and paint for my artwork. There are fantastic tuitions online.

6. Inventory: We were in desperate need for hand sanitizer so I searched through old bathroom cupboards and not only found hand sanitizer I picked up at concerts but also latex gloves and anti-septic wipes that where only a year old, it was a huge relief. Take a look in your draws and cupboards you will be amazed at what you fine.

Finding it impossible to purchase Rubbing Alcohol for cleaning, I’ve resorted to using cheap high alcohol content Gin. I am not sure if this good advice but it must be better than nothing for cleaning surfaces down and the house smells like a gin den. 

7. Paperwork: your paperwork in order because once life returns to normal and it will, you will be rushed off your feet with the joy of life. If you haven’t done a WILL yet, do one, get it out of the way, it protects your loved ones in the event anything happens to you.

Get your utilities all into one file, save your love letters (yes they do still exist for those romantics out there) and compile a list of To Do’s to make your life what you have always wanted it to be but never got round to because once the virus is beaten…… you will live like never before.

8. Kindness: An act of kindness connects us to all the good in the world. I am overwhelmed at how kind people have been online / on Skype/ on e-mail. The support has been overwhelming. I sincerely hope I can return it ten fold. My office looks out over what is usually a busy, bustling street, full of wonderful small businesses and shops, plus two bus stops.

Two Sundays ago I witnessed the shops shutting down and emptying their goods into vans. Nothing prepared me for the grief and sense of loss this image brought into our lives. Then at the bus stops there would be solitary old people and again the sense of grief and helplessness was overwhelming. 

Acts of kindness are the lifeblood of the community at a time like this. Notes/ messages/ letters of thanks go a long way to acknowledge someone’s pain and difficulty at a time like this and there is an opportunity to connect every second of the day

9. Journal: I think one of the best ideas I have heard coming out of this period is people keeping COVID-19 Journals, with sketches, thoughts, poems, pictures. This is a unique time in history. The big marker point for generations to come. All our experiences are unique and precious.

10. Routine: In the first week my mind was racing, I couldn’t anchor a thought or an action down. My mind just didn’t know how to cope with the lack of freedom and all the new information coming in daily. Also the fear of my husband getting ill really crushed me.

Now my day starts with Posture realignment exercises. Very simple floor based exercises to correct my posture. This improves my confidence. Then I go into the garden, where there is a river and I meditate in the form of prayer. 

I pray for the NHS and all who are putting themselves on the front line, the victims of the virus, my family, those who have passed and then I meditate for the future and this is where I build a picture of what I would like Toyah to be in future. FUTURE VISUALISATION is vital, it allows the universe and the future, both tangible things, to find you……. it works.

The past weeks have been hectic, busier than pre virus. Huge amounts of e-mail come in asking for stories to be written, songs to be sung. So many things to do and there are a lot of nice surprises planned. The Toyah band are planning a concert on line, we just need to finalise the date and the technology. 

Every day concert promoters and venues touch base and assess the news of the day, hats off to them, they are totally on top of this and all shows this year have been rescheduled and all tickets remain valid. Some are not announced yet, that is because the news changes daily about when we can all return to normality. Oh to get back to work……. what a joyous day that will be.

Most of you will know Bill Rieflin passed away on the 24 March 2020, my dearest friend and respected leader of The Humans. Bill outlived his cancer prognosis by almost 10 years. His dedication to meditation/ visualisation / diet / sheer will and tenacity kept him going as well as a lot of chemo, I am amazed he survived as long as he did. I sat with him last November, in Seattle as he had his weekly chemo, he went from bright eyed to grey as the liquid dripped into his vein.

In the beginning Bill asked us all not to talk publicly about his cancer but towards the end he realised so many could learn from his journey. For the past ten years I have driven Bill to healers around the UK, in an effort to help him. They taught him about diet and meditation and I like to believe it all helped. I even connected him to NASA technology via G-Labs who run our diets, NASA developed technology to study astronauts DNA while in space and believe it’s possible to alter DNA triggers through diet and minimise inflammation, this may have helped prolong his life, but I am no doctor.

Whenever I was near a landmark cathedral I stopped and prayed for him, I don’t go to church on Sundays, but when a loved one needs prayers this leads me straight to a church. Durham Cathedral became my port of call. The shrine to St. Cuthbert, within the cathedral, has been my go to place at least four times a year for the past ten years. Bill liked that I did this, he would tune in from Seattle at the same time. 

I saw this beautiful man go from supreme masculine health to being eaten by the most terrible pain. He did not complain once, he just stated facts. Bill never told us his timeline but the fear in his eyes gave it away in recent years. He was on borrowed time for at least 8 years. One comforting fact is Bill was surrounded by angels, physically, friends who loved him, saw, listened and where there for him all through this journey. The nurses at his oncology ward where totally dedicated to him, He would be his beautiful snippy self and they would bat it right back at him, which is what he loved.

Bill was fabulously critical. He was the perfect critic, truth would fall from his mouth and the fact he was perfectly imperfect himself just added to the magic. This supremely talented and beautiful man was everything I ever wanted to be as a person. 

Whoever met him, from all walks of life, where profoundly affected by him. I thank God I knew him, worked with him and looked upon him as my greatest friend.

Now he is my Angel.

STAY SAFE EVERYONE YOU, ME, WE, WILL GET THROUGH THIS.

BE LOUD, BE HEARD, BE PROUD

LOVE TOYAH XXXXXXXXXXXX


MAY 2020

HELLO THERE AND WELL DONE EVERYONE,
WE GOT THOUGHT APRIL!
YEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sincerely hope you are all OK.

I have actually managed to build a home studio, thanks to Amazon. At my desk there is a microphone, which records direct to GarageBand and in the style of how the HUMANS songs began I am starting to record a solo album. Technology has become so simple to use I now have the confidence to get to grips with it.

Yesterday I filmed a performance from my Green Screen room for Lets Rock, who have an announcement coming up for all you Lets Rock fans and next week I start Voiceovers for various projects from TV ads to children’s cartoons from home, so a little normality and stability is creeping back into my life. The recording will keep me connected to my voice, I miss the concerts with all my heart, they are always the most special and important things in my life but if I can create a “lockdown” album and hopefully film some of it too that will be a massive step forward and achievement for me.

The dance videos every Sunday have been a life saver, giving me “performance purpose” and thinking them up each week has us laughing our heads off. We never expected the very first LOCKDOWN SUNDAY LUNCH to do so incredibly well, it is almost at one million views and has lead to incredible things like my being invited to take part in the STRICTLY LOCKDOWN DANCE CHALLENGE and many more TV invites.

The costume I am wearing in this first dance video was/is intended for the TOYAH/ HAZEL ELECTRIC LADIES TOUR, so I will get to wear it once we are back on the road. The same Sunday we filmed LOCKDOWN LUNCH Robert and I were up at 6am as the sun was rising, the sky was clear so I put the dress on for fun and ran out into the garden. 

Dressing up has made Lockdown more palatable. I was amazed how beautiful the dress is on camera, it’s from a local second hand shop. I wanted my persona on the Electric Ladies Tour to be like a slightly demented showgirl.

LOCKDOWN TANGO was a challenge because Robert really cannot count within his body, he can count to his own music, but outside of that he is all fingers and thumbs and two left feet. It took all week to teach him that routine and then on the Sunday it was due to launch we did about ten takes! I am a trained dancer but I always say that doesn’t make me a dancer but I do find it easier to learn dances.

Whereas LOCKDOWN SWAN LAKE was a triumph. I had a spare black TuTu from 2005 which I cut up for Robert so it fitted him (my favourite part of the dance is at the end when it’s slipping down his backside). Many friends have asked did I force him to wear it. Let me tell you he was totally up for it, he puts his heart and soul into these dances and all week he is asking what are we going to do next, I believe he sees them as uplifting and a great way to exercise.

We were hoping the swans would appear but instead there was a river bank repair boat, with two men on board working on the other side of the river and when they saw us they pretended not to notice we were both in TuTus. So many friends have made contact since LOCKDOWN SWAN LAKE, I cannot believe how many people from my past have seen it.

Robin Craig, my co-star in the film POWER OF THREE reconnected from her lakeside home in Canada after she saw it and we caught up on our mutual loss of live audiences, Robin with theatre and how hard we are going to work to help the industries get back on their feet once we can. BEVERLEY CRAVEN reached out to say hello and we are now e-mailing, it’s thrilling to meet her via e-mail, it such a different perspective. Beverley is launching a huge Star Auction for the NHS. 

John Coates from Calamity Jane got in contact and asked me to flag up his band THE RAINBOW COLLECTIVE and their tribute to the NHS “PASS ON THE RAINBOW” which is on iTunes. Also ROCK CHOIR who are launching a 24 HOUR ENTERTAINMENT fundraiser on the 18th May for Mental Health Awareness Week, https://www.facebook.com/TheRockChoir

I am now saying to promoters once restrictions are lifted and people feel safe let’s go hell for leather, be spontaneous and get back into the clubs, theatres and restaurant venues, be spontaneous and do all we can to help the venues and the economy of everyone. Optimism is the only way forward and gratitude for our health. Currently Frippy is upstairs in bed with Strep Throat, he has no idea how he caught it, we wear gloves and face masks when ever we go out and I haven’t been out in public for 6 weeks, Frippy does the local shopping. It just goes to show how even the common cold virus infiltrates our lives so easily. 

Robert is on the other side but his throat has been agony and being unable to approach the Doctor how we used to I think added an anxiety to his condition but this is what it is. Our wonderful cleaner and PA came back last week and to show her how efficiently we have managed on our own, we cleaned the house before she arrived! It sparkled! We are so grateful to have her, she has braved the supermarkets for us over the lock down.

One thing I haven’t done in Lock Down which I used to do on a half hourly basis was hide and jump out on my husband. Can you imagine being stuck with someone who does this to you at every chance . . . I can’t wait for life to be back to normal and then I can start hiding in cupboards again. Have you seen the NetFlix drama UNORTHODOX ? I don’t think I have cried so much through a drama ever. The performances are breathtaking, the story is true and works on so many levels as a metaphor for many women’s lives . . . loved it.

Today I am exceptionally happy. This morning I woke having dreamt about Bill Rieflin all night. In the dream we were on tour and he was back to his full beautiful health . . . I hope you can watch my and Wong’s broadcast at 11am on FACE BOOK / TWITTER . . . especially if you are a HUMANS and BILL RIEFLIN fan.

TAKE CARE, BE SAFE AND ABOVE ALL

BE LOUD, BE PROUD, BE HEARD AND WELL DONE ALL OF YOU.

LOVE TOYAH XXXXXXXXXX

JUNE 2020

HELLO THERE!

I hope you and your families are safe and well.

Hasn’t the world changed since the beginning of May? I am looking at my last blog and my life is unrecognisable today! It is full on back to work, not as a live artist just yet but certainly as a TV artist . . . it’s all GO! Posting short films during the lockdown has been one of the best decisions of my recent life. I had no idea these films would not only reach a worldwide audience but also worldwide press/ directors/ writers/ fellow artists. 

Then a couple of weeks ago a new, really positive tangent happened and that was Shirley Manson’s unexpected but incredibly generous open letter to me about how she felt afraid to acknowledge me as an influence because I was mainstream and considered uncool.

Possibly the success of my singles, such as It’s A Mystery 39 yrs ago contributed to this, on the other hand I have never looked back and I am grateful for my history. What Shirley is reflecting is her own pressures of being held in the light of others’ artistic snobbery. Something many artists know well and how it leads to “selected history” within certain media. Thanks to Shirley, the immediate response was for many more people to come forward and say they too were influenced, inspired and given courage through my work. Thew views on This Is Your Life on YouTube have recently gone up significantly which indicates people want to know “Who is Toyah Willcox”.

I have survived pretty well in the past without recognition from the history writers who play god with other peoples careers. There is so much to thank you for in the past four weeks. The response to the online Toyah Concert LIVE IN YOUR LIVING ROOM on Saturday 23 May was fantastic! Many people touching base from all over the world. It was a joy to experience, the band where on great form and a lot of fun.

Lockdown has allowed me to reach an international audience and I am hugely grateful for that. I suspect a LOT of people this time next year will be able to look back and see that lock down has improved their lives some way or another. My personal leap is in seeing how powerful social media is and going back to Shirley’s letter I have awakened to the fact if the mainstream and the higher echelons don’t support you there is a mightier audience out there waiting to connect. 

Having a lockdown Birthday was a wonderful thing. The usual world being silent meant I could hear and absorb all the incredible messages coming in on social media and spend time unwrapping presents . . . I got presents in lockdown! Over the years hubby has been aware I really like him choosing gifts I can wear and remember him by when I am away working, things that I can cherish, so a pair of blue topaz earrings and L.K. Bennett dress were gratefully received.

For hubby I bought him a Unicorn Onesie . . . I’ve not seen it on him yet! A clock, a pair of enamelled pigeon cufflinks (his grandfather raced pigeons) . . . and I painted him a triptych. His face when he opened it, its large, he stood there silently absorbing it, then he does what he always does when he really likes something and he carried the paintings around the house looking at them from different aspects.

I am in love with the artists Maud Lewis (especially), Helen Frankenthaler and Frieda Kahlo, so my personal style of painting has developed into a hybrid of all three but with a footing in the absurd. Maud Lewis represents for me how “will” wins overt critical response, as you can imagine this is a huge and meaningful thing in my life. Maud is both about survival and also recognition, having been born into a broken body that cast her into a solitary life in the beautiful but demanding landscape of Nova Scotia in 1903. Her purity of expressing herself equals the purity and originality of Estonian Folk Lore to me and I have a passion for marrying the “normality” of life to the “absurd” of life . . . most times both these sit side by side.

Having released little film clips every Sunday for lockdown, I am secretly thrilled that absolutely no one has picked up on my love of DADA which has always played a large part in my life, since punk and even though I am not a political artist, sometimes turning the “domesticity” of our lives upside down makes it easier to cope with. The lockdown films also helped me to help Robert who was becoming increasingly sedentary and I need him to not only move but to laugh too. It’s getting busy now, the noise has returned but luckily not the level of interruption and mind numbing bureaucracy as before.

I hope you are all feeling positive, I certainly am. There is talk of Drive In Festivals, not sure how they will work, it’s a big ask to expect people to sit in their cars and watch live music but it’s hope for the future while the vaccine is being developed. Personally I am in full training mode, the lockdown gave me much needed physical rest but now I need to build strength, I lost weight in lockdown and that means I lost strength too.

Three one hour sessions a week in the gym is all I can fit in with a trainer and IT’S ENOUGH! I am keenly aware people need positivity and hope at this time . . . I will keep trying my best to put smiles on you faces. 

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU . . . FOR BEING YOU.

BE LOUD, BE PROUD, BE HEARD

LOVE TOYAH XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

JULY 2020

HELLO THERE!

I hope you are all well and safe.

HAPPY SEMI-OUT OF LOCKDOWN WEEKEND.

This month I have managed to do Voiceovers in a studio in Bristol, in complete isolation, all run via Zoom and operate remote cameras for Ch5 from our kitchen via Zoom too. I feel I have the potential to be a technical wiz. I recorded a main vocal for a new stage musical from my office desk and am well on the way to having enough material for the next Toyah album.

Two days ago I was in London for the first time since 12 March, having filled my car with unleaded for the first time in three months. The car was still working! It was a bizarre feeling, one of “should I be here, is this necessary?” nestled next to the overwhelming emotion of “YEHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM OUT OF THE HOUSE! AT LAST!”

It completely lifted my mood to have this sense of normality, even though I was venturing onto a very different and unexpected world. On Friday (3 July) just gone, there was the release of the entire works of TOYAH & THE HUMANS, the beautiful box set NOISE IN YOUR HEAD and four stunning vinyls, including LIVE AT THE SCALA with Robert Fripp guesting with us. It is the most beautiful package. I am immensely proud of it.

It completely lifted my mood to have this sense of normality, even though I was venturing onto a very different and unexpected world. On Friday (3 July) just gone, there was the release of the entire works of TOYAH & THE HUMANS, the beautiful box set NOISE IN YOUR HEAD and four stunning vinyls, including LIVE AT THE SCALA with Robert Fripp guesting with us. It is the most beautiful package. I am immensely proud of it. I am proud of the sound, the attitude, the journey and above all the memories. This project took me from Estonia to Seattle to New York and London, one of the best times in my life.

This has made me reminisce about Bill Rieflin big time and all the adventures we had around the world. One of the loveliest nights of my life was Valentine’s Day 2014. I cannot remember why Robert wasn’t with us, he was most likely en route from the USA, but Bill, Tony Levin, myself and Pat Mastelotto ended up in a tiny but gorgeous Japanese restaurant in Dunstable, on a deserted pedestrian High Street. 

It was pouring rain and like a surreal film set! There were only four or five tables and we were the only people there. It was so romantic to be out with three great men! All had such an extensive knowledge of Japanese food that they were talking to the proprietor in Japanese and ordering ‘off-menu’.

I was training for a 5 metre high dive in nearby Luton the next day. Luton is one of the rare swimming pools in the UK that has Olympic high diving boards. I was going to dive live on ITV’s Splash on the Saturday and the boys were rehearsing the rhythm section before a King Crimson tour at Gavin Harrison’s place. So we thought we would stick together on this particular night when it’s not fun to be alone. As usual Bill and Pat ate their food and my food off my plate, to my amusement, then we all walked back to the Premier Inn and downed a bottle of Port in Bill’s room. This might not sound super exciting but I’ve spent so many what should be special days apart from my hubby because of his touring schedule that this particular evening was magical…. VALENTINES IN DUNSTABLE!

The next morning I joined them all for breakfast before going off training, it was one of those buffet events and I left my phone on the table in case the Splash team needed to talk to me. Unbeknown to me Bill randomly went through my phone book and chose a name that interested him and sent this text “ OMG so sore from rampant sex in a Premier Inn off the M1, I am exhausted love Toyah”. When I got back to the table he was smiling his demonic smile when a text came in from the Features Editor of The Daily Mail “So pleased you’re having a good time, I wish I was!” when I scrolled to the message before I couldn’t believe my eyes. Bill and Pat were rolling on the floor by this time. I sent my apologies to the journalist and explained what had happened and prayed she believed me. 

These kind of things were regular with Bill, it was like the other time he told the “take out” counters at restaurants around Seattle my name was Daisy and I spent a couple of days wondering why people all over the city kept shouting “Daisy you’ve forgotten Bill’s potato salad!” at me . . . I was constantly on the receiving end of his wicked humour. As many of you know Robert and I love doing our Sunday Lunch films, last week we recorded Dance In The Hurricane, coincidentally having just watched Will Farrell’s brilliant film EUROVISION, where his costumes where rather worryingly similar to some clothes I have worn in the past!

Last Sunday I was going to wear a rather spectacular silver dress for this “at home” shoot and I got scared I might look like a Eurovision entrant in the eyes of someone 6000 miles away. Then I thought “heck! Why not?’ I might as well wear a rather gaudy pair of silver horns I had made for a stage show 12 years ago and really enter into the Eurovision spirit anyway but I got cold feet because Americans are not famed for understanding English irony. 

One of my favourite parts in the film is Will Ferrell on the hamster wheel….. dare I say first done by French and Saunders in ‘88 with me guest starring, singing Because The Night. (You can see this on BBC iPlayer right now, starts at 13m 20sec) both French and Saunders were dressed as farmers on a huge hamster wheel interrupting my performance, great ideas never go away, they just re-surface.

Many times I am asked whom would I love around my dinner table as the perfect guest combination and it would have to be Will Ferrell, Anthony Bourdain, Janis Joplin, Bowie, Samuel L. Jackson, Maya Angelou, Joe Strummer, Germaine Greer and Jimi Hendrix. That conversation would be thrilling. In the last month I have taken up, rather unexpectedly . . . BOXING. Having to get “world” ready after lockdown I started intense training for muscle strength four weeks ago, within a week of starting I was deadlifting 60 kilo, I weigh 54 kilo!

I never thought I would ever be able to do that again in my lifetime and to be honest it isn’t something I want to do too often but under supervision I am happy to do it to prove something to myself . . . if I ever have to carry a small adult, I CAN! Now my next task is to get Robert moving. I fear lockdown has knocked his confidence in his body and the outside world . . . so over the next few weeks we will venture outside into this Brave New World.

Our veg patches are producing wonderful courgettes, tomatoes, chard, beans….even peaches in the hot house and I am teaching Robert how to harvest and cook them, which he loves. In the meantime keep sending in your questions for Saturday’s Toyah At Home, I adore responding and the music will keep coming lockdown or not.

BE PROUD, BE LOUD, BE HEARD

LOTS OF LOVE TOYAH XXXXXXXX

AUGUST 2020

HELLO THERE! 

I hope you are well and safe. It’s still a weird time of not knowing if the glass is half full or half empty. Strangely there are still so many potential positives, such as having the time to see who and what we are, do we like ourselves/what we have around us, the success of all our past labours/ habits we have ignored that seriously need addressing such as keeping busy to avoid being available to do something else you don’t want to do . . . i.e: opening the post/ dreams left on the shelves which need to be fulfilled . . . all to be rediscovered in this solitary whirlpool of “sameness” and I say this as a positive even though in the past four weeks every effort to get out there and work has stalled because of the looming potential of a second wave, its like continents drifting apart. Self-reliance is being taken more seriously daily in our household.

Our garden is producing a Harvest Festival of food for the table. Never have we had such a crop of peachy peaches, figs, apples, pears, courgettes, beans of all variety, Beetroot, butternut squash, tomatoes. It must be because the air is cleaner and we are around to develop our green fingers. Everyday we count ourselves bloody lucky. 

As soon as lock down started four months ago my husband morphed into a home front superman. Its quite likely that for the first 35 yrs of our marriage he just let me get on with my work while he got on with his and never the twain shall meet work wise, but in lock down I believe he has actually seen who and what I am capable of for the first time, we are morphing together as a creative team . . . this is all thanks to enforced isolation.

All our friends are having garden parties yet we feel a little strange simply because everything social feels like Russian roulette. We just don’t know how to behave any more or what to do; we are so resolved with our own company. Thus . . . Humour has become our antidote. 

Robert and I are enthralled with making our home films. It has allowed us to present ourselves as we actually are at home! Nothing in this house is normal and never will be, we live within these conventional four walls but choose to bounce off them rather than pass them by. It does us a world of good when the humour is shared and recognised by our viewers on Face Book and You Tube for what it is and concerning when it’s taken as disrespect in any way. 

Disrespect is something I would never intentionally dish out; age gives you a perspective of compassion and high regard for all life. We see humour, or more directly, laughter, as a healing experience. Both Robert and I are the Monty Python generation, then add The Sex Pistols to the mix of our youth, and the threat of nuclear war, which every one over the age of 50 remembers and there you have the ingredients for a generation who sticks two fingers up to the negative forces in the world. 

One of the most beautiful things I have experienced in the last 8 weeks is the message’s I am asked to send to fans on CelebVM. Some people really need to be lifted up, others want to declare love to their nearest and dearests. It’s really such a beautiful window onto humanity, it’s become a high light of my days here in semi-lockdown and it’s giving me creative insights too. 

Cherry Red has really picked up the Toyah banner and its full steam ahead with releases starting in a matter of months.Because I have created “safe social pods” with the people I work with in my home town, the brilliant Nigel Clark of the band Dodgy, who lives 8 doors down from me has agreed to come and play guitar for one of the “extras” on a DVD. Currently he is sitting at home with chord charts learning a few songs . . . I am so grateful. Last month has earned me the new name of Rat Bag, possibly because I am slightly tired of domesticity. 

I was supposed to be doing drive in concerts for the next four weeks, something that I was chomping at the bit to start but of course these needed to be cancelled for everyone’s safety. Now hearing my close knit team address me as Rat Bag in texts, e-mails and on the phone has some how become endearing. My training routine has given me an outlet for all the pent up performance energy and all those Rat Bag tendencies get diminished once my boxing gloves go on and I can hit big non-sentient objects. I have actually dead Lifting 70 kilo . . . that’s 15 kilo more than I weigh! 

I would never have guessed 5 months ago, when I had creaky knees, a bulging lower back disc and hip pain that 3 hours of weight training a week, core strength and Pilates could completely eliminate the pain of being in my 60’s . . . but it has. The slightly down side is I am 2 kilo’s heavier . . . but I am ripped, a muscled up Rat Bag Granny . . . ( in name only). 

Fripp is even training now and he is learning ti-chi and boxing . . . he is a tiger. Our domestic exile has allowed us to discover the American food critic Anthony Bourdain on Netflix, wow his travel shows are breathtakingly great. If my history lessons at school where as observational and critically on point as these programmes I might have sat up and listened. 

Simon Darlow, myself and Robert wrote and recorded a track for the successful album series Miniatures two weeks ago. FUTURE DREAMING is only allowed to be 60 seconds long for this project involving many many musicians and writers, who all contribute 60 second songs. 

It proved challenging fitting a whole musical story into this time limit but it was heaven being in the studio with both Fripp and Darlow, it completely revved us up with dreams for the future. I hope that all of you are able to enjoy August and stay safe. This virus cannot last forever, we will all be back to normal eventually and what a party it will be. 

LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES

STAY SAFE 

TOYAH XXXXX


SEPTEMBER 2020

HELLO THERE!

Is it all go for you? Are your children returning to school? Are you trying to head back into the office?

I was going to say STAY SAFE but I think a level of STAY SANE AND SAFE is needed because so much is being asked of us that contradicts natural instinct. All I can say is hand washing is worth every second and make sure the toilet seat is down before flushing AND if someone is asleep enough to cough, sneeze, bump into you ... run!

I am trying to get back into the outside world to continue with my day job but everything is cancelling! I was to play in Nuneaton on Halloween but the club feels it isn’t safe to do so. It’s frustrating because I think the audience would have loved the chance to dance and express themselves. There is a lot going on, there is more good news than bad. My agent has had an “availability check” for me from one of Hollywood’s top casting directors, I cannot imagine what this might be but as Robert says “I am on their radar and that can’t be a bad thing.” 

Album wise EVERYTHING is moving forward beautifully. Cherry Red will have SHEEP FARMING IN BARNET ready before the end of the year. We've discovered hidden gems in the Safari storage boxes including the original VICTIMS OF THE RIDDLE vocal improvisation. Alan Sawyers has put an incredible artwork package together. More news is coming soon.

Cherry Red have been filming here at the house, allowing myself and Nigel Clark of Dodgy (my neighbour) to perform songs off the album in a live context. On the morning Cherry Red arrived I knocked a tooth out brushing my teeth (my dentist constantly begs me stop using my toothbrush as a hammer) then the rain fell so hard it flooded the kitchen and I was mopping the floor in my stage costume whilst prepping lunch for the team.

DEMON have approached me for a special project for 2021. So I feel very much a musician and artist in this crazy time. Nigel Clark joined me again for a lovely performance with Robert ... something to do with the master of the torch song Marc Almond ... we loved this ... DETAILS SOON TO BE ANNOUNCED. Robert is really supporting me as an artist, he will be playing on the new album with Simon Darlow. It’s strange that lock down has made this all possible. Robert is currently horizontal after pulling a tendon having been a little to expressive in his martial arts training ... dear hubby is all dosed up with Ibuprofen.

In an hours time I will be doing the same, punching, kicking, elbowing my opponent into submission and loving it. Apart from doing this to get fit I am aiming to improve my posture and deportment. I am actually having lessons in how to walk in high heels again, having given them up ten years ago ... when I return to the outside world it will be a new more focussed, well posed me with a walk that is more like a glide than a forward moving stomp.

Here in our town, at the end of August we usually have 17,000 visitors for The Plum Festival, this year I’d say we had 1% of that but the happy sounds coming over our garden wall from the neighbouring hotel where nectar. To hear Humanity experiencing joy is the best thing in the world. We even enjoyed the people filming us from the river, usually this would be disturbing, but after so long in captivity it was highly amusing. We live on the River Avon and one of the local businesses benefiting ten fold because of “stay-cationers” is a paddle board hire company

Floating past our garden we watch many, many people learning to balance, some with their dogs on the boards, some with their tiny children, most just want solitude but this year we had what looked like an influx of Japanese tourists floating past filming our garden…that was after they had taken their instagram photos on our front door step!

Never have I been so happy to see visitors from out of town. Nigel Glockler’s wife, Gina is producing a TOYAH CANDLE, which will be available soon. The fragrance discussions are about to start and the demon in my head is shouting out jokes about Gwyneth Paltrow’s last candle range and references to intimate human body parts. 

 My preferred approach is “this candle kicks arse rather than smells like arse.” “this candle smells like invincibility”, “this candle smells like superstardom” “this candle smells like my little bunny rabbits ears.” “this candle smells like victory and perseverance in the face of adversity.”

Yeah to Toyah’s first candle!

STAY SAFE, BE PROUD, BE LOUD, BE HEARD

LOTS OF LOVE TOYAH XXXXXXXXXX

OCTOBER 2020

HELLO THERE!

I hope you are all safe and well.

Next Saturday, 10 October is NATIONAL ALBUM DAY. I am an Ambassador. This year the theme is the great music of the 1980s. We are starting the week-long celebrations today! Watch Toyah & Robert’s Sunday Lunch at 12 noon Sunday 4 October. Video on this page – DEEZER are having an 80s DRIVE IN LONDON on the 7 October, where I am the host. – On Saturday 10 October record stores and outlets will be selling re-releases from the 80s. 

Albums, as we all know, are bodies of work from artists who define themselves within whole albums. All my life “listening parties” brought siblings, friends and fans together. – To celebrate this at 3pm on Saturday 10 October there will be a TIM’S TWITTER LISTENING PARTY for my album ANTHEM.

I can’t wait to tell you track-by-track my unique memories of each track as we recorded it, from microphones in loo bowels to create waterfall effects to popping out mid recording session to have Tea with the Queen Mother and Princess Margaret to pizzas at 7am after epic nights of recording . . . it’s going to be one glorious walk down memory lane. Rather surprisingly Ancestry.com contacted me last month to inform me I am 31% Scottish, 5% North of France, 1% Spanish, 30% Irish and 33% English.

It was the Scottish percentage that surprised me, as my parents never referenced Scottish ancestry, but it makes sense to me because my concerts in Scotland have always been magical. The Spanish and French came as a confirmation of something I have instinctively felt all my life, a connection to these countries. My mother arrived in this world 7 days early. She was born in Newport Wales. Her mother, from London, was visiting relatives in the area when her premature labour started, so can I add Wales to this equation?

Since taking up Muay Thai martial arts three months ago I am finding a new physical confidence. Three months ago every part of me hurt and I put it down to the inevitable onset of age. It appears my aches and pains where due to natural muscle wasting in lockdown, the fear of hurting myself was stopping my attempting physical exertion. 

Now I am intrepid. Last Sunday I scaled an 8ft wall and scrumpted the apples from my neighbours orchard. The joy when I saw people watching me from their park cars next door, throwing the apples down to my accomplice Frippy on our side of the wall, it must have been quite a site to see a 62 yr old women, in her Hobbs dress nicking apples whilst standing on an 8ft wall. I can’t bare waste, apples are precious at a time like this.

Talking of Frippy, looking out of the kitchen window last Sunday, there was a White Dove on the opposite roof and I called Frippy in and said “ Look Robert there’s a Cockatoo on the roof!” “OMG! So there is!” he exclaimed. “How on earth did it get there?” “It must have escaped.” I answered. And for two days I managed to persuade him we had an escaped cockatoo in the garden. That was until our murdering Sparrow Hawk swooped down and annihilated the poor dove in one swoop. 

The neighbours must hear me regularly shout out “Bugger Off you murdering Bastard!” To a sparrow hawk who sits in the branches above looking down at me with contempt. On telling Robert of the “cockatoo’s” demise I admitted he had been idolising a Dove. I bet he can’t wait to be on tour again. Our Sunday videos go from strength to strength and we are growing an International audience. It appears Journalists, Professors, Authors, Artists are among our audience, but we were equally thrilled to note on Facebook that the “ Montreal Fetish Weekend” where looking forward to our films too. How can our British normality appeal, they must think we are a super subtle S&M couple. 

All last week we were waking up to white feathers within the house, with no way of knowing where they had arrived from. Resting on chairs, in draws, on stairwells, by our diaries, falling out of books. White feathers are believed to be contact from those who have passed, very reassuring. It was Bill Reflin’s birthday on the 30th Sept. He would have been 60. The night before Robert had a dream that he was at a venue and Bill walked past his room in the corridor outside and didn’t say anything. Robert woke feeling “why didn’t Bill tell me he is alive! Bill is alive, why didn’t he tell me!” 

I mentioned a week earlier I dreamt I was in a huge, beautiful barn, it had a glass ceiling and it was filled with an artist community and art was everywhere, when Bill walked in, didn’t say anything, he was his usual beautifully sardonic self and he walked out the building without acknowledging me AND I woke utterly devastated that Bill didn’t tell me he was alive! So Robert and I tried to work out what this meant from Bill’s perspective. 

We came to the conclusion that Bill was referencing that everything was in place, as it should be. He was where he is now and we are where we are . . . it is as it should be. When Robert and I rehearsed our Sunday filming of “Never Mind The B . . .” we rehearsed with three large fans blowing to lift the large blue flags I was using. Everything worked. The following day when we came to shoot, nothing electrical worked. 

The fans wouldn’t work, the lights wouldn’t work but Roberts amp was lit up and working, yet it appeared the buildings electrics where down. We couldn’t fathom it, so we shot the sequence in natural light without the aid of the fans and it looked great. As I carried the props next door Robert came back and said “You wont believe this, all the fans are working again.” Bill was definitely around.

Christmas has arrived in our house. I know we haven’t had Halloween yet, but we prefer Christmas and we intend to have a good three months of it! Life goes on, yet I am aching to perform in front of a live audience. Time is moving quickly, the days seem so short, probably because we always invent something to do and in this rare event of actually having an immense amount of time on our hands, the potential to be creative seems to be an immeasurable pool of choice and possibility. 

My big challenge for the next 6 months, because I am optimistic we will be able to do live shows from April onwards is to focus on the possible and stop the impossible from distracting me. This definitely is a time to reset and be ready for the explosion of life outside of these four walls in 2021.

STAY SAFE EVERYONE, WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS, THE END OF COVID MUST BE IN SIGHT.

BE PROUD! BE LOUD! BE HEARD!

LOVE TOYAH XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

NOVEMBER 2020

HELLO THERE!

I hope you are all OK and that your loved ones are safe.

This time around I feel prepared and practiced for Lockdown2. The terror isn’t so intense. In fact I never really left LD1. My hands remain constantly washed and door handles are opened with tissues in hand . . . will I ever return to normality after this!? 

As soon as LD2 was announced I remembered little things from the last time that were magical, such as the silence and being able to meditate, something I am never “still” enough to achieve usually; the intense focus in our house on creative ideas; the laughter at the absurdity of being forced together as if in prison; treasuring Fripp being safe at home as opposed to constant touring but also I remembered the little things that wound me up ie: Frippy eating Gorgonzola cheese in front of the TV . . . the smell! The empty loo roll tubes on the loo roll holders, little piles of Y-fronts everywhere. My dear, sweet , wonderful husband and I are together 24/7. AND I believe LD has made him a better person, hopefully both of us better persons.

But last Monday I suddenly remembered . . . In LD1 every time I went into the kitchen he would suddenly appear and comment on what I was eating . . . ring any bells for anyone? So I sat him down and explain that the kitchen isn’t always: A place to observe what another is eating; isn’t always a place to disturb another’s quiet time; isn’t always a place that the two of us have to occupy at the same time.

This may read as harsh but in LD1 Roberts habit of saying “I love to see you enjoy your treats,” meaning me getting some calories and quiet time between phone interviews became two things. 1. A women doesn’t necessarily eat to please an observer. 2. Sometimes people want to eat in silence. So on Monday I very . . . VERY . . . gently explained that in LD its my only real time to be creative without the distraction of the world, also in the mornings when I am having Brekkie I am still waking up and what I eat is my business, I am doing it for energy, not for approval.

This has also revealed to me that LD releases past memories good and bad. One for me was of my mother putting a plate of food in front of me when I was a child and saying “eat it all up or else” and my father telling me I would get fat as I ate it, a contradictory and infuriating experience which I am sure I am not alone in experiencing.

LD does intensify emotions and relationships, it seems an obvious thing to say, but intensity has many levels, good and bad. Sadly we are witnessing too many relationships breaking up, it is unnatural to have this length of confinement, so we both work really hard on “kind honesty”, always talking rather than storing resentments. This LD is going to have the air of normality for us. The next Cherry Red/ Safari re-release not only need to be completed, they need to be completed before the EU cut off . . . so we are 12 months ahead of our original schedule to get the product booked into the factories in Poland.

It’s been flat out for months! Simon Darlow, Frippy and myself will continue on Posh Pop, the new TOYAH album and I am working on a few TV shows, sadly I needed to cancel my Mastermind show due to it being shot in Belfast and I dare not risk Fripp’s health on my return. There are so many good things about to happen, a TV comedy series in which I have a dream character has just been picked up by the Dad’s Army creative team and hopefully will be in pre-production early 2021. 

This week a fabulous script about a 62yr old rock star arrived in my “in Box’ and POSH POP is sounding amazing. I hope and pray that you all find LD2 a little easier than last. Christmas is coming, Humans are inventive . . . we will find a way to party.

STAY SAFE.

BE PROUD, BE LOUD, BE HEARD

I AM THINKING OF YOU

LOVE TOYAH XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

DECEMBER 2020

HELLO THERE AND HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

I wish you all health, love, happiness and dreams come true in 2021.

You all deserve it! For your patience, your inner strength, you’re resilience, you deserve your dreams to come true in 2021. This is the year that made heroes of you all. The incredible work of the NHS, scientists, carers, delivery people and those who held on with all their inner strength against the incredible fear, isolation and confusion, those who taught their children, who cooked and delivered for others, who shouted “I LOVE YOU” through glass windows to their elderly loved ones, may we never go through this again. God Bless you, you are remarkable.

Here it has been a phenomenal end to 2020. The release, mid year , of box sets TOYAH SOLO and TOYAH AND THE HUMANS lit my sky like a brilliant sun on the morning horizon. This was a major achievement considering the amount of geographical ground covered just to produce the product in lockdown. SHEEP FARMING IN BARNET sees the light of day for the first time in decades. Released on Friday 11 December. 

It has taken 30yrs of constant, civilised, pressure from myself and Joel Bogen but when record companies keep an artist’s work as a future asset to be sold and are not active with it, it’s the artist who suffers. We can now put all this behind us and start to bring this music back to the fans, thanks to Cherry Red. AND it’s not the end of this particular battle for me, Universal hold the rights to so many other TOYAH ALBUMS and Publishing, no matter how much I point out they are inactive with my life’s work they are holding onto their vast pool of dormant assets for future sale of the company when the CEOs want to retire.

We need regulations where an artist can claim back inactive work that has ownership in another company. If you are not familiar with this practice, publishers and large record companies for the past 15yrs have been asset building artists work . . . it’s all just numbers to them . . . then they sell the company for billions.

In the late 80s I had management who sold not only my work but other artists on their roster to keep cash fluid, we were never consulted . . . but I keep on pushing, offering to buy my work back . . . one day this practice will be forced to stop by law. For 2021 good news out shines the not so good news, the end of isolation is in sight and a new future awaits us all.

This means I will be gigging solidly, I do need to have the vaccine, but once I have it there’s no stopping me. I believe all artists and musicians will have to so venues don’t have liability if we catch Covid. This is all a new era for everyone. My year looks like its starting with two months on a movie, for which I am studying guitar for over and hour every day (hopefully more once things quieten for Christmas) . . . more on that when I am based in Portugal where the shoot is taking place. 

POSH POP is on schedule. Simon Darlow and I have signed a brand new recording contract with DEMON MUSIC . . . WOW! I am a woman in my 60s, working flat out and I have never been so grateful. This year has given me the chance to launch TOYAH TV on YOU TUBE. We have loved every moment. Fripp is a totally new man. Embracing martial arts, singing, dancing and excited that in 2021 we will be branding TOYAH AND ROBERT AT HOME as our semi-retirement creative work for the future.

Acquiring a fan base from around the world has been one of lockdown’s surprises. Another was an invite to sing Happy Birthday to Babe Station TV! I declined. That is a place purely for the physically young and vivacious! Paid work is happening at last. 10 months without income has been terrifying but in the last four weeks the ball is rolling again. I found myself in Elstree Studios with a dressing room opposite Gok Wan, Brian Conley and Jonathan Ross. NEVER NEVER have I been so pleased to see other human beings.

Jonathan Ross came and said hello with his face mask on…rather sexy I must say and we caught up with our “lockdown” news. Jonathan really enjoyed Marc Almond’s Marc Bolan tribute, which I took part in, he said he paid to view it which made me chuckle. He loved Fripp, Nigel Clarke and myself performing RIDE A WHITE SWAN.

Having never met Gok before I am happy to say he is as fabulous as you would expect, a ton of fun and really lovable and as for Brian, that silver fox gets better and better, I have so much admiration for him. He looked great. This year will be a budget Christmas, one of the best because I am far more thoughtful. In my spare moments, usually midnight onwards I’ve been making gifts for people. Artworks. Our home had to change during lockdown to accommodate all the publicity I needed to do, so as you know we now have a Green Screen area, a recording set up but also my art studio has moved to the downstairs dining room, a room we never used and I love it. 

My insomnia now has a purpose. I can draw, paint and create! As I look at my 74year old hubby I thank God for the precious 10 months with him in isolation. The beginning was tough. I am used to being alone. We have never had 10 months together 24 hours a day in 35 years together. I thought I knew him, I didn’t , but I do now!

The one thing I will change, once lives are normal again, I will not cook another lunch for at least a year! I really do not enjoy cooking! So much was challenging but following the lives of others online, other people who were alone, needing money, needing food, or not getting on with their partners we realised how fortunate we actually are. The past month has been quite a challenge. Apparently I experienced exhaustion levels, I wouldn’t know I just keep going till the job in hand is done but I woke up one morning with a black eye and the doctor saw me immediately and diagnosed Shingles. 

I’ve had it twice before, always because of physical exhaustion, but a few days later I was looking in the mirror and I saw what look liked a “ toothbrush bristle” sticking out my eye socket . . . yes somehow, I, the most accident prone person I have ever known managed to lodge an entire one inch brush bristle in my eye socket! Removing it I was hugely relieved not to have Shingles! How it got there in the first place . . . it might have been due to sleepwalking! 

Myself and my wonderful creative team leave 2020 knowing that SHEEP FARMING IN BARNET is where it should be, released out into the world, for its devoted fans. Those of you who are discovering it for the first time I hope you enjoy this uniquely special album. Now we can guarantee not only SHEEP FARMING but BLUE MEANING, TOYAH! TOYAH! TOYAH!, ANTHEM, THE CHANGELING, WARRIOR ROCK and LOVE IS THE LAW are all going to be re-released thanks to CHERRY RED RECORDS. I am so grateful.

I WISH YOU ALL HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.

STAY SAFE, THIS IS THE LAST HURDLE THEN WE ARE THERE.

BE PROUD, BE LOUD, BE HEARD

BIG LOVE TOYAH XXXXXXXXX

SEE ALSO
The Toyah Blog Archive